Hair-raising tales from the dork side

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Top Ten Cheesy Horror Movie Stereotypes...by Linda Kozar


I thought it might be fun to list some of my favorite observations about cheesy horror movies I've seen over the years. Though not so much of a fan these days, I have a good memory for some of my favorites. The cliche's are truly unforgettable.



The Top Ten Cheesy Horror Movie Stereotypes. . .

1.

Hear a noise in the pitch-dark basement? An expendable character will grab the nearest battery-failing flashlight and go downstairs to investigate.

2.

"Maybe we should split up..." One character always says it. Everyone in the theater knows this is bad idea. But the idea seems perfectly reasonable to the characters.

3.

The car won't start! Of course not. But somehow as the monster/killer/alien/creature approaches and is almost upon the hero/heroine, the engine turns and they zoom off.

4. 

The monster/killer/alien/creature you just killed/chopped up/hacked/exploded/rolled over/electrocuted isn't really dead after all. It almost always grabs the hero/heroine by the arm or ankle.

5.

Characters always trip over something when running away from the monster/killer/alien/creature. The character always looks back to see how much lead there is between them and the monster/killer/alien/creature, and promptly trips over a tree root.

6.

The root cellar moment. Remember that scene in the movie, Psycho when Lila (Vera Miles) discovers Norman Bates's (Anthony Perkins) mother sitting pretty in a rocking chair, preserved like a dried apricot? You will see similar root cellar moments in every horror movie.

7.

Zombies can't see, hear, taste, smell or feel but they sure can sprint after the human gravy train. And there's always a slow character who becomes not-so-fast food. It's true what they say. You don't have to run faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than who ever is behind you.

8.

The heroine sprains her ankle and it slows her down enough for the masked maniac/bogeyman to get closerthanthis to her. Think Jaime Lee Curtis in the Halloween movies.

9.

The lights are gonna go out. Take away lights. Add fog and mist. Cue creepy music. Horror movie.

10.

This scene is reserved for the end of the movie. The audience is calm. The terror is over. Or is it? The final cuts of the movie are telling. Whether one see's Stephen King's character "Carrie's" hand springing up from the graveyard dirt, or hears the thumping heartbeat in Vincent Price's "The Tingler," or the spooky/futuristic music accompanying an alien spaceship leaving earth with the final credit: "The End?" we all know the movie ain't over till it's over.

And there you have it, my Top Ten Cheesy Horror Movie Stereotypes. Add your stereotypes to the list. I'm certain I've missed some...

Cozy Mysteries by Linda Kozar

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